i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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