Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
