i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
