how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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