Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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