We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
