Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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