I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
