so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come share oat with me in your robe
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
