Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
