You work out of a Hotel?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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