no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
