What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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