hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
