drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
