Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
