O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
