I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
