he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
