problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
