I'm lost and stupid without you.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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