we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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