Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
