It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
