Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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