i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
