The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
