I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
