I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
