I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
