I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
