On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
