My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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