I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I need a burrito and a hug.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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