are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
