its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
