How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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