community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
