Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
