Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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