I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
