Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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