how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
