no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
