I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize