They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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