walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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