i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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