hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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