He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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