So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
