How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
