Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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