Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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