I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
