i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is my gift to your gina
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize