I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
