Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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