when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
