shes about as inviting as chlamydia
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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