YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
