Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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