Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have aggressive nipples.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
