nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
