The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
