My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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