At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
