And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You made out with two different species that night
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
