Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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