From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize