ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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